Hetalia in a Nursing Home
by pielover3.14cherrypie
Summary: All of our favorite nations are very old! That doesn't make them any less... Well... Themselves. Nursing Home AU.
1. Prologue

I** DO NOT OWN HETALIA BUT IT WOULD BE AWESOME IF I DID**

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"Bingo!" A shaky hand reached up into the air. A blond-haired, blue-eyed German was the owner of that hand.

"Let me come over and check." A person in their twenties with a sailor suit came over. "Yep! Ludwig got a bingo!" He said in a cheery British accent. Everyone else in the room groaned.

"Mein unawesome bruder just won... Grrrr I'm going to-" Gilbert said as his denchers fell out. The old women next to him laughed hysterically and smacked him with a frying pan. The women- Elizaveta still laughed hysterically as the boy with a British accent and a girl with an Australian both pulled her out of the room. An Italian man in his forties picked up Gilbert and took him away on a stretcher.

"Well that was odd." an old British man said.

"Like your cooking~!" a man named Francis said.

"Who's up for prune juice?" Alfred, an America said.

Everyone except Feliciano looked at him like he was crazy. "Sure! But let's add alchohol so it can be wine!"

Everybody cheered.

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**And this story was began.**

**Sorry for shortness, next chapter will be longer!**


	2. Scones

"What was that now?" A confused elderly Brit stared at the television. "They just made a scone on the... The... The thing kids these days! The... Telly... Fawn?" The Brit felt proud of himself for being "up to date" with technology.

_I'll go to Francis and tell him that they made a scone on_ _the telly fawn!_

Slowly, England moved his wheel chair out of the room and down the hallway and- down the stairs?! Ow! Poor stairs...

Finally, after about an hour, England reached France's room. England beat his hand on the door. "Get out here you bloody frog!"

About a minute later, the door opened. "What do you want?" the French man said, angry. "I was in the middle of my soap opera!"

"I got something to show you! Give me the telly fawn controller stick!" England said. France handed it to him.

After a few tries, England got the numbers of the channel in. "I told you it was channel sixty-nine!" said the French man angrily.

On the television was a scone being made by a hot lady. They were about to let someone eat it. "I told you English food isn't bad!" England laughed.

France stared in shock at the television, until...

"Oh no! That wasn't supposed to happen!" the hot lady on the television looked panicked. An ambulance soon came to the scene. Soon, England was the one staring in shock at the television and France was laughing.

Then England went back to his room. "I need some prune juice..."


	3. Nordics Minus Finland

**Thank you for all the reviews! I will take all suggestions into account!**

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"You're going too fast!" a very old Norway told his little brother who was in his fifties.

"I don't have to do this, you know. I'm missing my show for this." Iceland replied. He was currently pushing his brother's wheel chair.

Suddenly, Denmark and Sweden came dashing down the hall. "WOOOOOOO FASTER, FASTER!" The Dane screamed.

"No, y'go f'ster." Sweden said in reply, following Denmark in his wheel chair. They seemed to be racing.

"That doesn't even make sense." Iceland said, staring at the two old men as they passed. They countinued down the hallway until they reached the stairs. Again, poor stairs!

LATER THAT DAY

It was about four in the afternoon. All the nations were eating. Suddenly...

"I'll n'ver und'stand those Danes." A creepily familiar Sweedish accent could be heard.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Denmark then got on the table and held up his cane. "BRING IT ON! I HAD A GOOD SHARE OF PRUNE JUICE AND I'M READY!"

"Mm... Alright." Sweden slowly stood up and got on the table, cane at the ready.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" The nations yelled.

And so the two Scandinavians fought. And fought. And fought. They were like knights, I tell you!

"You guys are going to have to stop!" Wy had just burst in through the door.

Sweden and Denmark both stopped dead and stared at her. The Sweden looked at his watch. "I have t'go. Don' want'a miss m'show." He then got off the table and walked away.

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**Well that was stupid. lol**

**Suggestions are greatly appreciated!**

**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed!**

**Credit to And I'm Javert for the idea for this chapter!**


	4. America's Prank

Today was America's favorite day of the year! No, it wasn't the Fourth of July, nor was it Chirstmas, Halloween, or New Year's. Today was April Fool's Day! And America wasn't going to let this go uncelebrated.

"Yo England my man!" America said as he was getting some prune juice from the cafeteria. He was patting England rather forcefully on the back, making him spit up his tea.

"What do you want you idiot?" England asked.

"Oh nothing. Just saying hi to my friend!" America said as he slowly walked away.

"Huh. I will never get how he manages to act so young but be so old. Maybe all the hamburgers have messed with his head." England thought out loud.

As he was walking to take a seat he got kicked. England held up his cane and waved it threateningly at the French man who had done so.

"What was that for you frog?" England asked threateningly.

"Well it says 'kick me' on your back!" France said as he laughed an old person laugh.

Then something unexpected happened. A Prussian kicked France, and just as France was about to yell at him Prussia was kicked by a certain Hungarian. Then she was kicked by a certain Austrian. Soon, everyone was kicking each other.

And there, in the corner of the room, America was laughing an old person laugh, at how such a cliche' April Fool's joke could get these people angry at each other.

"WAIT!" England yelled. "America is the only one not kicking or getting kicked. LET'S GET HIM!" And then all the old nations turned on America, cornering him.

"Now, guy, I may have put a post it note saying 'kick me' on everyone's back, but hey! It's all good, right? Who's up for some prune juice?" America said nnervously. Just as all the old nations were about to give him a good kick, Wy, Sealand, and Seborga jumped in the room. Wy and Sealand were young and hip and sexy, while Seborga was in his forties.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" They yelled in unision. Everyone stopped.

"Go in your rooms and think about what you have done." Wy said, and all the nations walked sheepishly out the door to the hallway to their rooms.

"Do I really get paid minimum wage for this?" Wy thought out loud.

"It's the sad truth." Seborga replied.

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**Thank you to Jay the Puma for the idea! Suggestions are appreciated and taken into account! Thanks for reading!**


	5. Wy's Day OffPrussia's Party

As Wy woke up, her first thought was _"Yes! Today is my day off! I don't have to deal with the crazy old people anymore!"_

She made herself some nice panckes, got ready, and wore her nicest outfit because tonight, she would go on a date with her boyfriend, Josh.

First, she went to the mall. Just as she walked in, though, Wy heard her cellphone ring. Wondering who it was, she answered the phone. Wy then heard a certain familiar German accent say "Is your refrigorator running?"

Knowing who it was, Wy hung up immediatly. _"Stupid Prussian" _she thought.

Less than five minutes later, after just entering her favorite store, her phone rang again. This time, it was Seborga. Reluctantly, she picked it up.

"Wy, where are you?! It's terrible, Prussia's-" Seborga was cut off by a buch of loud screaming and laughing. German Sparkle Party was playing in the background. Before she hung up, Wy could hear a "Suck it losers!"

Wy sighed. _"Guess I better go help him..." _Wy thought.

It took her twenty minutes to get to the nursing home. When she got there, she was horrified.

THIS IS

A GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY

_"Why does this have to happen on my day off?"_

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**Wy's day off part 1! Please review and I hope you enjoyed :D**


	6. Wy's Day Off Part 2

**This is Wy's Day Off Part 2! I hope you enjoy and thanks to my lovely reviewers! :D**

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As soon as Wy opened the door, she knew this was going to be a long, hard day. Everyone had crazy wigs on. They were dancing like crazy! Oh, and there were tons of sparkles everywhere. The music was turned up very loud. Beer bottles littered the floor. People were dressed up in many colors. Heck, Wy didn't even know half the people there! Some were even too young to be in a nursing home for the elderly!

Wy sighed as she made her way through the large crowd, pushing and shoving people out of her way, trying to find the source of the music. But then she saw something that caught her eye (well, actually two somethings)- Sealand and Seborga. They were tied up in the corner and they couldn't move.

"Sealand! Seborga!" Wy yelled over the music. "I'm coming to help you!" Both boys looked up hopefully to see Wy coming for them. When she approached them, she realized she didn't have anything to cut the ropes with. "Hang on, I'll be right back!" she told them.

Wy then turned and ran, ran as fast and hard as she could, for her friend's lives depended on it. She finally found the hallway and took off down it, looking for the kitchen. She had at long last found it and tried to open the door, but it was locked. _"Okay Wy, stay calm. If you over think it, things will just turn out even worse, so calm down." _Completely forgetting she had keys, she kicked the door with a rush of adrenaline, hoping that would open it. All she ended up with was a stubbed toe.

Just as she had gotten over the excruciating pain, and as she finally realized she had keys, she heard a very drunken German accent from behind her. "Ya goin' sommere, miss?"

Wy quickly turned around and laid her eyes on a very drunken Prussia.

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**Part 3 is coming soon! Suggestions and constructive criticism are much appreciated. Just remember: This isn't in any way meant to be taken seriously! XD**


	7. Wy's Day Off Part 3

"Oh crap-monkeys! Oh crap- monkeys!" Wy muttered as she hastily attempted to jam the keys in the key hole about six or seven times, each time a failure. She knew full well that the drunken Prussia was approaching her from behind. She knew it was too late when she felt a shaky hand clasp her shoulder.

"Come on, join ze *hiccup* party!" Prussia said, and dragged her by the shoulder (yes, the shoulder) to where Sealand and Seborga were. They both gave her a sad look. Out of nowhere, Prussia got some rope and tied her up, too. Where he got the rope was beyond Wy's imagination, though Seborga had a good idea that will remain unspoken. After Prussia was done tying Wy up, he ran off into the midst of the German Sparkle Party, probably for some beer.

Wy looked down, tears clouding her eyes, partly cause she failed the two men, partly cause she was worried about if she'd even make it to her date tonight. "I'm sorry guys... I failed..."

"It's okay, Wy, when Prussia is drunk no one can escape so it's perfectly understandable." Sealand said, trying to comfort the poor girl.

"Yeah, what Sealand said." Seborga agreed with Sealand.

"Thanks guys." Wy looked up and smiled at them. As she looked up, though, something caught her eye. Well, more like someone. Standing a few feet away from her was a certain Brit that might be able to help. Also, oh-so-helpfully standing near him was another person that could help. A certain Hungarian was bombarding the Brit about his relationship with a certain American.

"FOR THE LAST TIME I DO NOT LOVE HIM AND WOULD NEVER SLEEP WITH HIM!" England yelled for what felt like the thousandth time. Man, for an old person he sure yelled loud. "Now please, let me go back to my room so I don't miss my show."

"Jeez man, don't have to be so rude about it." Hungary said to him.

Just as England was about to walk away, a voice shouted, "ENGLAND! HUNGARY!" The said countries looked over to the source of the voice, who just happened to be Wy. Seborga and Sealand gave her a look that said _"What the hell do you think you're doing?" _Wy just whispered, "You'll see."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?! I DON'T WANT TO MISS MY SHOW!" England yelled at her.

Wy smirked and said, "We need you to bake some scones."

England just stood there in shock, until he finally found his voice and giddily said, "O-okay, if you say so!" and ran to his room to make scones.

Hungary then approached the micronations. "Alright, what's going on? Cause if someone asks England to bake scones, then something seriously fucked up is happening."

"We need your help, Hungary." Wy said boldly to her.

The older woman then bent down so Wy could whisper the plan into her ear. When she was done, Hungary said, "I'd love to! I'll do it so amazingly that all the PruHun shippers will cry!" **(Author's Note: No offense is intended to PruHun shippers.) **

The micronations just stared at her. "Wha-?" They began in unison, but were cut off by a certain British accent.

"I'm done with the scones!" England said as he gleefully skipped into the room that was littered with confetti and sparkles.

"Good." Wy said, smirking. "Now we can begin."

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**This is Wy's Day Off part three! Part 4: The Great Escape is coming soon! (Hopefully!) Thank you to everyone who reads this :)**


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